Hard to Heal
2021
48"x48"
Acrylic paint and paper on stretched canvas
I created this piece for Opening Night at Churchill Downs. I began the piece in my studio and finished it as a performance, live at the track. The theme of the night was focused on healing and regrowth and the color of the night was orange. I took that theme to mean healing from the trauma of a global pandemic, and more specifically from police violence against Black people. As I began to work on the piece in March 2021, news stories were coming out nearly daily about Black people being unjustly killed by the police. The idea of healing seems so far away when there keep being new wounds opened.
The mandala is a healing symbol. Many cultures use them for meditation and reflection. I thought that was the perfect medium for this piece. Even the act of creating a mandala is meditative. The pieces of this mandala are interesting to look at, and also have a deeper meaning. I included crosshairs, from the scope of a gun in the middle and yellow police tape. There are also black hands up in the air -"Hands up don't shoot." I included some white triangle shapes that look like KKK hoods, hiding in plain sight. The circle of eyes represents the eyes that are always watching and, with the help of cell phone cameras, recording. The changing color circles add a carnival feel in reference to the media coverage and spectacle that come with such tragedies.